Who are you?
We’re you. That is to say, we’re you if you’ve ever gotten stuck on Level 33 for a month. We’re you if you’ve ever run out of lives at three o’clock in the morning. We’re you if you’ve ever actively tried to play Candy Crush Saga while diapering a baby. We know. We understand. And we think there’s a literary dimension to what you’re going through.
What is your philosophy?
We believe literature is about desire and achievement. Candy Crush Saga is no different. Hemingway said the things we want are like cards. We know the things we want sometimes can be like having a blue candy drop in just the right place so you can use it to help swap out a color bomb with a striped candy. Desiring the things we want is the engine that drives the narrative forward to reach the summit of achievement. Our goal at The Coconut Wheel is to gather these stories, within the context of Candy Crush Saga, and present them to the world at large.
What are you looking for?
We’re primarily looking for short stories in the flash fiction range (about 1000-2000 words in length). We will be happy to consider longer pieces, assuming you have the necessary attention span to complete them. We will not consider novella-length pieces, as we no longer have the necessary attention span to read them.
What aren’t you interested in?
We are not actively seeking poetry, dream journals, or screenplays where Liam Neeson uses a particular set of skills to crush through a wall of meringues. We will not consider erotica because we personally think combining Candy Crush Saga with sex diminishes the pleasure involved. However, we will carefully consider slash fiction involving striped candies and wrapped candies.
What about non-fiction?
We are only looking for fiction at this point. We are not interested in non-fiction pieces, such as tips, tricks or strategy guides, unless you know something about Level 311 that we don’t already. We are also not interested in articles focusing on ways to pick up women using Candy Crush Saga, because that would be sexist and misogynist, and anyway it doesn’t work.
What themes are you focusing on?
There are many classic themes in literary fiction for talented writers to explore, such as the loss of innocence, the tension between man and his place in the natural world, and the conflict between the need for parental approval and the need to make one’s own way in the world. None of these things have anything to do with Candy Crush Saga. We are looking for themes related to addiction, conflicts with spouses who don’t play Candy Crush Saga and don’t understand why you just paid two dollars for a Lollipop Hammer, and addiction.
How do I submit my story?
The Coconut Wheel is one of the first literary journals to use Facebook for the submissions process. Just “like” us on Facebook and then send your story as a Facebook message. Oh, and please send us an extra life along with your story.
When will my story be published?
Right away. We’re not picky. If you send us the extra life, we’ll put it right up. We reserve the right to check for spelling errors, of course. And, like most small up-and-coming online literary journals devoted to casual gaming, we of course aren’t able to pay our contributors anything. But if you could just send us that extra life, that would be great. And three more moves, if you have them to spare.
This sounds sort of, you know, like a scheme to get free lives from strangers.
We’re just trying to share great literary stories related to Candy Crush Saga. The addictive nature of the game is not under our control. If you’re questioning our need for more lives, what you’re really doing is questioning the fundamental structure of the game. You’re questioning whether it’s right or wrong to intentionally set up a game which is so addictive and difficult that it requires the occasional financial contribution in order to play it properly. And that’s not a conversation we feel comfortable having. Just write us a story and send us those three moves and that extra life already. Thanks!