OR, ONE MAN’S JOURNEY INTO LEGO-FUELED MADNESS
I won my fantasy football league last year.
You don’t care. I know that you don’t care. I know that you especially super-double don’t care if you lost your fantasy football league last year, as most of you did. But I won my league.
My team, “Ghost of Don Meredith,” went 10–4 in the regular season, and won the first-round playoff game by thirty points, thanks to strong showings by Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch and New Orleans Saints wide receiver Marques Colston on my team, and a total, epic meltdown by Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel on the other side. The championship game wasn’t even close, as running back Lamar Miller of the Miami Dolphins and tight end Antonio Gates of the San Diego Chargers led the Ghosts to a resounding triumph over my wife’s nephew’s team.
I cannot tell you how many fantasy football leagues I have been in over the years, mostly because I don’t care, but this was the first fantasy football league I had ever won. (Technically, my wife and I won — everyone else in the league is in her family — but she defers to me on most of the moves.) I guess that explains what happened next. Something had to.
I don’t remember where I saw the story about the OYO minifigs. You can buy tiny little OYO (note, NOT Lego) replicas of pretty much any NFL, MLB, or NHL star that you desire. I will stress again that these are not official Lego products, but they are compatible with other Lego stuff, at least as far as I can tell. I remember reading the story, thinking, “Huh,” and then not thinking about it any more after that.
But the Monday after the Ghosts of Don Meredith clinched their victory, there I was on Amazon, buying an OYO minifig for each of the players on my fantasy team. I did a little bit of Google searching and found someone on Etsy who made Lego minifig stands that made it look as though the minifigs were standing on risers, like you’d see in a football team picture.
From that point on, it was all simple. All I had to do was wait for Amazon to send me the various OYO figures that I needed. My fantasy league has deep rosters, so I went ahead and got fifteen different figures. Etsy came through again with a minifig that was supposed to represent Will Ferrell in “Anchorman,” and sported a perfect gold blazer to represent unofficial team captain Don Meredith, as he appeared during his Monday Night Football career.
Top Row: Lamar Miller, Miami Dolphins, Anquan Boldin, San Francisco 49ers, Antonio Gates, San Diego Chargers, Dez Bryant, Dallas Cowboys
Second Row: Alshon Jeffrey, Chicago Bears, Mark Ingram, New Orleans Saints, Marshawn Lynch, Seattle Seahawks, Richard Sherman, Seattle Seahawks (defense)
Third Row: Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts, Marques Colston, New Orleans Saints, Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals, Hakeem Nicks, Indianapolis Colts
Bottom Row, Don Meredith, Team Namesake, Steven Hauschka, Seattle Seahawks, Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers, DeSean Jackson, Washington Redskins
The use of the OYO figurines lends itself to a little pose-ability. You will note that the kicker’s leg is up, and that Dez Bryant is “throwing up the X,” as he does after touchdowns.
Everything didn’t go well when I put the figurines together. The facemasks on the minifigs aren’t attached to the helmets and have an awkward tendency to go flying in the air. Sometimes players would pop off their stands and knock two other players off. But overall, I was pleased with the results.
I say all of this to say three things. First, I do not have very much time on my hands, thank you very much, just enough to do this. Second, I don’t care what you think; I think this is the most incredibly awesome fantasy football trophy ever and I shall cherish it always.
Third, I have to tell the story of Don Meredith’s head. I decided to swap it out. The head that the minifig came with had muttonchop sideburns and didn’t look like Meredith. It turns out you can’t buy just a minifig head at the Lego Store; you have to buy three figurines. (The trophy that Meredith is holding is from the Lego Store, by the way.)
So I was at the local Lego Store, a grown man on his lunch break, trying to find just the right head for my awesome fantasy football trophy, and one of the cashiers came up to ask if she could help. “Thanks,” I said. “I got it.”
She said, “What are you working on?”
I said, “I can’t say. It’s too crazy.”
She shook her head. “No, baby. Whatever it is, I guarantee you, I’ve heard crazier.”
So there you go. I have a few more up-close pictures if you want to see them, below. Thanks for reading.
Curtis Edmonds is the co-owner of the “Ghost of Don Meredith” fantasy football team. He has written three books, WREATHED, RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, and the short-story collection LIES I HAVE TOLD. His work appears occasionally in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. He believes the Cowboys have a good chance to win the NFC East (if not the Super Bowl) this year.
